1/18/2006 01:48:00 PM|W|P|Steve Geluso|W|P|This book rocked. Totally. Damn. The main character was a boy who lived with is parents until he was 7 years old. Then a freak microwave accident killed them and sent him onto the streets where he would have to learn to survive on his own. On the streets, the boy met like so many tons of interesting people. He ran with a midget gang laundering soup kitchens to hide their undercover crack cocaine trade routes. For the sake of the story, the boy aged at a ridiculously, with two i's to show how ridiculous the situation actually was, incredible pace. At the age of 8, he was 17. Within that singled year/9 years of his life, he mastered the underworld drug shannanananagins and became the richest boy/young man to live at the age of 8 and 17 simultaneously. A puffin came to him in a vision and told him that his parents had not really died in the freak microwave accident. In fact, there was no microwave at all. The puffin told him that his family was faaaaart too poor to own a microwave of their own. In fact two, he didn't even have parents. He was the son of a puffin king! Upon arrival of his new freakin', awesome, new-found, puffin, heritage, he looked in the mirror and realized he was indeed a puffin. And a beautiful one at that. The ridicule over his flipper-shaped arms all his life made sense now. He was not a normal boy. One/nine years amidst the most potent crack cocaine imaginable had really screwed up his mind. He wondered why he had never noticed he was a puffin before. Then it alllll made more sense. He was not a puffin at all. He was the puffin. The puffin to bring a new world puffin order to the new puffin world. It was his destiny. All the midgets were slaughtered. Everyone in the puffin kingdom ate well that night. Throughout all of time, puffins have been an oppressed species. Shafted as the least of all penguins, they got no respect nowhere. Their cute looks won them the favor of kind-hearted children and hid their natural tendency towards utter cruelty. A crack squad, no pun intended, of puffin scientists got to work on the puffins most formidable problem. Puffins had no decent way to get anywhere. They had not the funds to get themselves fancy cars nor the feet to carry them much more than a city block a day. Awkward.|W|P|113762240243273711|W|P|Book Report|W|P|stevegeluso@gmail.com1/09/2006 05:38:00 PM|W|P|Steve Geluso|W|P|There was no good food in my house this weekend. Sunday evening, my Mom went grocery shopping and came back with nothing more than a giant 42-pack of Gushers. I ate nothing but marshmallows, Gushers and crap this weekend. The best thing to come from this was marshmallowed Fruit Loops. I melted marshmallows in the microwave and poured them on a bowl of Fruit Loops and milk and it was delicious.|W|P|113685730335072995|W|P|Yummy-nummy|W|P|stevegeluso@gmail.com